Tag Archives: Sneaking Candy

The Reality O by Candy Sloane, aka Lisa Burstein

Thank you for joining us in the cover reveal for The Reality O by Candy Sloane, aka Lisa Burstein, hosted by Wordsmith Publicity.

Take a look at the cover, the (hilarious) excerpt, and let us know what you think!

 

Title: The Reality O

Author: Candy Sloane/Lisa Burstein


Age Group: Adult

Genre: Comedy/Erotic Romance

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About a year ago a book titled Sneaking Candy was released. It was about a creative writing graduate student (Candice Salinas) and her erotic romance author alter-ego (Candy Sloane). Readers fell in love with Candy and so did author Lisa Burstein.

Lisa fell so much in love SHE WROTE A BOOK as Candy Sloane.


The Reality O is Candy Sloane’s first standalone debut erotic romance novel, but it may not be her last…

Fifteen Contestants, Twelve Episodes & One Chance to Rock Her World

When my best friend Allie posted about my need for an inaugural O on a prominent dating website it was meant to be a joke.

A joke she was supposed to delete.

But her post started an internet and media frenzy and, when I was offered fifty thousand dollars to star in my own reality competition show, I had no choice but to say yes.

The show was supposed to help me meet a carnal companion who could finally bring me to climax.

Unfortunately, the one person I want to win the undying allegiance of my, well, you know, can’t be in the running at all.

Now in an L.A. mansion with fifteen very persuasive contestants vying for my attention and one undeniably sexy Production Assistant secretly getting it all the word ACTION has a whole new meaning…

Author’s Note: This book is about sex. There are men kissing women, women kissing women, and men kissing lady parts. It is not meant for readers under eighteen, or my mother.

Sign up here to participate in events for The Reality O! You certainly don’t have to read Sneaking Candy before you read The Reality O, but if you would like to it’s FREE right now on all e-book platforms!

Find more information about Sneaking Candy here!

Excerpt

Behind the Scenes

Make me come for the very first time.

Twenty-five-year-old busty, blond, green-eyed, straitlaced librarian, looking for a guy to be able to do what no one before him has. 

Above you’ll find the joke “Casual Encounters” post my best friend Allie put on Craigslist without my knowledge.

On the bright side, she’d referred to me as busty. On the not so bright side, her bawdy prank started a chain of crazier than crazy events that neither of us could have predicted.

Her post was true. I’d never had an orgasm during sex, or anything else I’d done with someone else. Yes, even with tongues, fingers, and things stuck in places my mother and your mother would not want to hear about things being stuck.

My lack of orgasm without my trusty vibrator wasn’t something I bragged about, but I also didn’t think it was that weird.

I mean, Allie told me it was, but it was like rule number one of being friends with her to never believe anything she said. Her self-described sex life rivaled the tips in Cosmo magazine—the good parts that revealed confidences you were pretty sure no human had ever actually experienced, not the embarrassing anonymous stories that made you feel better about your own boring sex life.

Or at least, they’d made me feel better about mine.

I received the first response to Allie’s post while I was at work shelving books in the minuscule poetry section of the Bangor Public Library. I was using my recently awarded Masters of Library Science degree to its fullest for sure.

My phone buzzed in my back pocket. I picked it up with one hand and squeezed it between my ear and shoulder, balancing a huge volume by E.E. Cummings in my other hand.

At the time I didn’t notice, but now, yes, I see the irony.

“Hello,” I whispered, glancing around to make sure I was alone among the shelves. We weren’t supposed to take calls in the library, and that day I wished I would have followed the rule I continually got reprimanded for breaking.

“I want to make you come,” a breathy voice oozed from the receiver, “I’m going to suck on your sweet, throbbing clit until…”

“Excuse me!?!” I screamed. Well, as loudly as you can in the middle of a library. My heart was pounding so chaotically the people using the free internet could probably hear it anyway.

“I’ll start by licking you nice and slow, all around your honey pot, till you’re begging for it, desperate for more. Then I’ll—”

I hung up. My throat ached. My face dimpled with sweat.

Honey pot?

I was too freaked out to even appreciate the humor in a guy trying to talk dirty while using Winnie the Pooh as his muse.

Yes, freaked out. I was not turned on. I was terrified. I studied the phone number in my recent call list. It was local.

I tried to gather myself, smoothing my tight ponytail as I went back to shelving, but I couldn’t get his voice out of my head. I kept hearing him. The men I went out with never talked to me that way. No one had ever talked to me that way. I certainly didn’t like it, but I also couldn’t deny the adrenaline shooting and pinging through each limb like my body was a pinball machine.

I picked up a slim Anne Sexton paperback—yet another irony in hindsight—and squatted down.

His voice still echoed. My thighs burned as I glided my fingers along the back spines on the bottom shelf looking for its space.

My phone vibrated again.

I glanced at the number before I answered, not the breathy-voiced sicko, another local call. I should have just let it go to voicemail. I should have, but I didn’t.

“Hello,” I answered, hesitantly, rubbing one finger along the frame of my glasses—chunky and bright red, a perfect contrast to my olive green eyes and the one style decision that always made people wonder about me.

“Hey baby,” a growl slithered over the line, “I hear you need a real man.”

“Who is this?” I whispered.

“Your daddy.”

I held out the phone and stared at it like it had come to life. I could still hear his voice thrusting through the receiver.

“You want it, don’t you? I’m going to bend you over a table and shove my twelve-inch-cock into your dripping wet pussy again and again, my finger right—”

I clicked end and threw my phone on the ground. My pulse was pounding so feverishly against my neck it was choking me. What the hell was going on?

Also, who in this world had a twelve-inch-cock? How did he walk with that thing unless he used it as a cane?

My phone came to life again, buzzing and lighting up from where it lay on the floor, like a horror movie where you thought the monster was dead, but really he was invincible.

I picked it up with the tips of two fingers and looked at it, yet another local number I didn’t recognize. I clicked for the call to go to voicemail.

It was 11:00 a.m., too early to take lunch, but I didn’t care. My phone vibrated in my hand as yet another call lit up the screen. I forced it to voicemail and texted Allie to drop everything and meet me at The Sundown.

If it was too early to take lunch, it was definitely too early to have a drink, but I needed one. It had to be five o’clock somewhere considering it was sex o’clock on my phone.

Preorder The Reality O 

About the Author

Candy Sloane is an erotic romance author and the fictional creation of Lisa Burstein from the New Adult Novel Sneaking Candy. The Reality O is her debut novel.

Lisa Burstein is the author of the Young Adult Novels: Pretty Amy and Dear Cassie, and the New Adult Novels & Novellas: Sneaking Candy, The Next Forever, The Possibility of Us, and Again. She lives in Portland, Oregon with her very patient husband, a neurotic dog and two cats.

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Sneaking Candy – Lisa Burstein REVIEW

 Before The Reality O there was Sneaking Candy

SC

Sneaking Candy is not the fluffy confectionery that one would assume given the cover, unlike most New Adult fiction, neither is it a maudlin self-indulgent tale of post-teen angst with the amount of tragedy comparable only to a Korean soap opera. What it is, is a love letter to readers, all readers well maybe not the literary book snobs out there but to the average everyday Joe who loves a little escapism, or a touch of irreverence in their reading fare.

All I ever wanted was to make a name for myself as Candice Salinas, creative writing grad student at the University of Miami. Of course, secretly I already have made a name for myself: as Candy Sloane, self-published erotic romance writer. Though thrilled that my books are selling and I have actual fans, if anyone at UM found out, I could lose my scholarship…and the respect of my faculty advisor, grade-A-asshole Professor Dylan.

Candice is the somewhat repressed daughter of two surgeons and after years of toeing the party line she rebels by eschewing medical school following in her parents and boyfriend’s footsteps to move to Florida and pursue her dream of being a writer instead. Her parents respond by disowning her and her boyfriend dumps her unceremoniously telling her that she was a lousy lay and that he cheated on her as well. Forced to find her own way Candice uses her only resource and self-publishes an erotic romance novel under the pseudonym Candy Sloane.

Enter James Walker, super-hot local barista and—surprise!—my student. Even though I know a relationship is totally off-limits, I can’t stop myself from sneaking around with James, taking a few cues from my own erotic writing…if you catch my drift. Candy’s showing her stripes for the first time in my real life, and I’ve never had so much fun. But when the sugar high fades, can my secrets stay under wraps?

Much like all of us Candy is the alter ego who says and does the things that we think of ten minutes after the opportunity has passed. Caught between a rock and a hard place Candice is torn not only between two men but also between following her heart and her head career-wise.

“You’re this serious writer,” I said “I figured you’d view it as fluff, me as fluff. I mean, anyone in the program would.”

Sneaking Candy revitalized my faith in the New Adult genre introducing us to a heroine who is not a victim, perhaps a little repressed, but with the confidence to do and READ or write what her own inner-voice dictates. While as enjoyable as a forbidden snack Sneaking Candy serves up a surprisingly wholesome message to ultimately be ourselves and we can only hope to have the wherewithal to follow suit.

Find more information about Sneaking Candy here!

 

About the Author

Lisa Burstein is the author of the Young Adult Novels: Pretty Amy and Dear Cassie, and the New Adult Novels & Novellas: Sneaking Candy, The Next Forever, The Possibility of Us, and Again. She lives in Portland, Oregon with her very patient husband, a neurotic dog and two cats.

 

Sneaking Candy – Lisa Burstein

Sneaking Candy is not the fluffy confectionery that one would assume given the cover, unlike most New Adult fiction, it is not a maudlin self-indulgent tale of post-teen angst with the amount of tragedy comparable to a Korean soap opera. What it is, is a love letter to readers, all readers well maybe not the literary book snobs out there but to the average everyday Joe who loves a little escapism, or a touch of irreverence in their reading fare.

All I ever wanted was to make a name for myself as Candice Salinas, creative writing grad student at the University of Miami. Of course, secretly I already have made a name for myself: as Candy Sloane, self-published erotic romance writer. Though thrilled that my books are selling and I have actual fans, if anyone at UM found out, I could lose my scholarship…and the respect of my faculty advisor, grade-A-asshole Professor Dylan.

Candice is the slightly repressed daughter of two surgeons and after years of toeing the party line she rebels by eschewing medical school and following in her parents and boyfriend’s footsteps to move to Florida and pursue her dream of being a writer. Her parents respond by disowning her and her boyfriend dumps her unceremoniously telling her that she was a lousy lay and that he cheated on her as well. Forced to find her own way Candice uses her only resource and self-publishes an erotic romance novel under the pseudonym Candy Sloane.

Enter James Walker, super-hot local barista and—surprise!—my student. Even though I know a relationship is totally off-limits, I can’t stop myself from sneaking around with James, taking a few cues from my own erotic writing…if you catch my drift. Candy’s showing her stripes for the first time in my real life, and I’ve never had so much fun. But when the sugar high fades, can my secrets stay under wraps?

Much like all of us Candy is the alter ego who says and does the things that we think of ten minutes after the opportunity has passed. Caught between a rock and a hard place Candice is torn not only between two men but also between following her heart and her head career-wise.

“You’re this serious writer,” I said “I figured you’d view it as fluff, me as fluff. I mean, anyone in the program would.”

Sneaking Candy revitalized my faith in the New Adult genre introducing us to a heroine who is not a victim, perhaps a little repressed, but with the confidence to do and READ or write what our own inner-Candy dictates.