Tag Archives: Lisa Burstein

The Reality O by Candy Sloane, aka Lisa Burstein

Thank you for joining us in the cover reveal for The Reality O by Candy Sloane, aka Lisa Burstein, hosted by Wordsmith Publicity.

Take a look at the cover, the (hilarious) excerpt, and let us know what you think!

 

Title: The Reality O

Author: Candy Sloane/Lisa Burstein


Age Group: Adult

Genre: Comedy/Erotic Romance

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About a year ago a book titled Sneaking Candy was released. It was about a creative writing graduate student (Candice Salinas) and her erotic romance author alter-ego (Candy Sloane). Readers fell in love with Candy and so did author Lisa Burstein.

Lisa fell so much in love SHE WROTE A BOOK as Candy Sloane.


The Reality O is Candy Sloane’s first standalone debut erotic romance novel, but it may not be her last…

Fifteen Contestants, Twelve Episodes & One Chance to Rock Her World

When my best friend Allie posted about my need for an inaugural O on a prominent dating website it was meant to be a joke.

A joke she was supposed to delete.

But her post started an internet and media frenzy and, when I was offered fifty thousand dollars to star in my own reality competition show, I had no choice but to say yes.

The show was supposed to help me meet a carnal companion who could finally bring me to climax.

Unfortunately, the one person I want to win the undying allegiance of my, well, you know, can’t be in the running at all.

Now in an L.A. mansion with fifteen very persuasive contestants vying for my attention and one undeniably sexy Production Assistant secretly getting it all the word ACTION has a whole new meaning…

Author’s Note: This book is about sex. There are men kissing women, women kissing women, and men kissing lady parts. It is not meant for readers under eighteen, or my mother.

Sign up here to participate in events for The Reality O! You certainly don’t have to read Sneaking Candy before you read The Reality O, but if you would like to it’s FREE right now on all e-book platforms!

Find more information about Sneaking Candy here!

Excerpt

Behind the Scenes

Make me come for the very first time.

Twenty-five-year-old busty, blond, green-eyed, straitlaced librarian, looking for a guy to be able to do what no one before him has. 

Above you’ll find the joke “Casual Encounters” post my best friend Allie put on Craigslist without my knowledge.

On the bright side, she’d referred to me as busty. On the not so bright side, her bawdy prank started a chain of crazier than crazy events that neither of us could have predicted.

Her post was true. I’d never had an orgasm during sex, or anything else I’d done with someone else. Yes, even with tongues, fingers, and things stuck in places my mother and your mother would not want to hear about things being stuck.

My lack of orgasm without my trusty vibrator wasn’t something I bragged about, but I also didn’t think it was that weird.

I mean, Allie told me it was, but it was like rule number one of being friends with her to never believe anything she said. Her self-described sex life rivaled the tips in Cosmo magazine—the good parts that revealed confidences you were pretty sure no human had ever actually experienced, not the embarrassing anonymous stories that made you feel better about your own boring sex life.

Or at least, they’d made me feel better about mine.

I received the first response to Allie’s post while I was at work shelving books in the minuscule poetry section of the Bangor Public Library. I was using my recently awarded Masters of Library Science degree to its fullest for sure.

My phone buzzed in my back pocket. I picked it up with one hand and squeezed it between my ear and shoulder, balancing a huge volume by E.E. Cummings in my other hand.

At the time I didn’t notice, but now, yes, I see the irony.

“Hello,” I whispered, glancing around to make sure I was alone among the shelves. We weren’t supposed to take calls in the library, and that day I wished I would have followed the rule I continually got reprimanded for breaking.

“I want to make you come,” a breathy voice oozed from the receiver, “I’m going to suck on your sweet, throbbing clit until…”

“Excuse me!?!” I screamed. Well, as loudly as you can in the middle of a library. My heart was pounding so chaotically the people using the free internet could probably hear it anyway.

“I’ll start by licking you nice and slow, all around your honey pot, till you’re begging for it, desperate for more. Then I’ll—”

I hung up. My throat ached. My face dimpled with sweat.

Honey pot?

I was too freaked out to even appreciate the humor in a guy trying to talk dirty while using Winnie the Pooh as his muse.

Yes, freaked out. I was not turned on. I was terrified. I studied the phone number in my recent call list. It was local.

I tried to gather myself, smoothing my tight ponytail as I went back to shelving, but I couldn’t get his voice out of my head. I kept hearing him. The men I went out with never talked to me that way. No one had ever talked to me that way. I certainly didn’t like it, but I also couldn’t deny the adrenaline shooting and pinging through each limb like my body was a pinball machine.

I picked up a slim Anne Sexton paperback—yet another irony in hindsight—and squatted down.

His voice still echoed. My thighs burned as I glided my fingers along the back spines on the bottom shelf looking for its space.

My phone vibrated again.

I glanced at the number before I answered, not the breathy-voiced sicko, another local call. I should have just let it go to voicemail. I should have, but I didn’t.

“Hello,” I answered, hesitantly, rubbing one finger along the frame of my glasses—chunky and bright red, a perfect contrast to my olive green eyes and the one style decision that always made people wonder about me.

“Hey baby,” a growl slithered over the line, “I hear you need a real man.”

“Who is this?” I whispered.

“Your daddy.”

I held out the phone and stared at it like it had come to life. I could still hear his voice thrusting through the receiver.

“You want it, don’t you? I’m going to bend you over a table and shove my twelve-inch-cock into your dripping wet pussy again and again, my finger right—”

I clicked end and threw my phone on the ground. My pulse was pounding so feverishly against my neck it was choking me. What the hell was going on?

Also, who in this world had a twelve-inch-cock? How did he walk with that thing unless he used it as a cane?

My phone came to life again, buzzing and lighting up from where it lay on the floor, like a horror movie where you thought the monster was dead, but really he was invincible.

I picked it up with the tips of two fingers and looked at it, yet another local number I didn’t recognize. I clicked for the call to go to voicemail.

It was 11:00 a.m., too early to take lunch, but I didn’t care. My phone vibrated in my hand as yet another call lit up the screen. I forced it to voicemail and texted Allie to drop everything and meet me at The Sundown.

If it was too early to take lunch, it was definitely too early to have a drink, but I needed one. It had to be five o’clock somewhere considering it was sex o’clock on my phone.

Preorder The Reality O 

About the Author

Candy Sloane is an erotic romance author and the fictional creation of Lisa Burstein from the New Adult Novel Sneaking Candy. The Reality O is her debut novel.

Lisa Burstein is the author of the Young Adult Novels: Pretty Amy and Dear Cassie, and the New Adult Novels & Novellas: Sneaking Candy, The Next Forever, The Possibility of Us, and Again. She lives in Portland, Oregon with her very patient husband, a neurotic dog and two cats.

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Sneaking Candy – Lisa Burstein REVIEW

 Before The Reality O there was Sneaking Candy

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Sneaking Candy is not the fluffy confectionery that one would assume given the cover, unlike most New Adult fiction, neither is it a maudlin self-indulgent tale of post-teen angst with the amount of tragedy comparable only to a Korean soap opera. What it is, is a love letter to readers, all readers well maybe not the literary book snobs out there but to the average everyday Joe who loves a little escapism, or a touch of irreverence in their reading fare.

All I ever wanted was to make a name for myself as Candice Salinas, creative writing grad student at the University of Miami. Of course, secretly I already have made a name for myself: as Candy Sloane, self-published erotic romance writer. Though thrilled that my books are selling and I have actual fans, if anyone at UM found out, I could lose my scholarship…and the respect of my faculty advisor, grade-A-asshole Professor Dylan.

Candice is the somewhat repressed daughter of two surgeons and after years of toeing the party line she rebels by eschewing medical school following in her parents and boyfriend’s footsteps to move to Florida and pursue her dream of being a writer instead. Her parents respond by disowning her and her boyfriend dumps her unceremoniously telling her that she was a lousy lay and that he cheated on her as well. Forced to find her own way Candice uses her only resource and self-publishes an erotic romance novel under the pseudonym Candy Sloane.

Enter James Walker, super-hot local barista and—surprise!—my student. Even though I know a relationship is totally off-limits, I can’t stop myself from sneaking around with James, taking a few cues from my own erotic writing…if you catch my drift. Candy’s showing her stripes for the first time in my real life, and I’ve never had so much fun. But when the sugar high fades, can my secrets stay under wraps?

Much like all of us Candy is the alter ego who says and does the things that we think of ten minutes after the opportunity has passed. Caught between a rock and a hard place Candice is torn not only between two men but also between following her heart and her head career-wise.

“You’re this serious writer,” I said “I figured you’d view it as fluff, me as fluff. I mean, anyone in the program would.”

Sneaking Candy revitalized my faith in the New Adult genre introducing us to a heroine who is not a victim, perhaps a little repressed, but with the confidence to do and READ or write what her own inner-voice dictates. While as enjoyable as a forbidden snack Sneaking Candy serves up a surprisingly wholesome message to ultimately be ourselves and we can only hope to have the wherewithal to follow suit.

Find more information about Sneaking Candy here!

 

About the Author

Lisa Burstein is the author of the Young Adult Novels: Pretty Amy and Dear Cassie, and the New Adult Novels & Novellas: Sneaking Candy, The Next Forever, The Possibility of Us, and Again. She lives in Portland, Oregon with her very patient husband, a neurotic dog and two cats.

 

Again – Lisa Burstein PROMO & GIVEAWAY

For a limited time only, Again will be available for $0.99

(Regular price $3.99)

Again Promo

Again by Lisa Burstein 

Age Group: NA/Adult

Genre: Contemporary Romance

Release Date: 9/22/14

GoodReads

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How far would you go for a second chance?

SYNOPSIS – Eleven years after flunking out of college, Kate has finally hit rock-bottom. Losing her job and boyfriend in one drunken night, she’s determined to fix her life by going back to the moment when she let partying and sex take over and do things right. At twenty-nine, she heads back to freshman year of college, with a catch.

Pretending she’s nineteen with a new room-mate and full class schedule is easy. When she meets her shy, sexy and seven-years-younger RA Carter, following her self-imposed sobriety and celibacy rules is proving to be anything but.

A senior enduring years of regret, Carter is more than ready to graduate. He’s anxious to move on from the party his freshman year where he witnessed his frat brothers about to commit a sexual assault. Instead of doing the right thing and stepping in, he looked the other way and left. His guilt has made for a lonely four years.

When he meets the new freshman on his floor, spunky and confident Kate, he wonders if his time as an outcast has finally come to an end.

Kate and Carter’s growing friendship and undeniable attraction make it harder to hide the demons from their respective pasts. But when their secrets are finally revealed, will their chance at starting over together still be there?

leaf divide

 Purchase Links

Amazon  |  B&N  |  iTunes  |  Kobo


The Challenge of Kate

Tell us how you made twenty-nine-year old Kate into a believable college freshman.

I have a cousin who always looked really young, like ten to fifteen years younger than she really was. She even told a story (with pride) that when she was thirty-two she went to Disneyworld alone and to get to the front of the lines she pretended she’d lost her parents and they were waiting for her up there AND PEOPLE BOUGHT IT. So I made Kate someone with a baby face, the kind of person who ALWAYS gets carded, when she’s on a bus in the city people ask her if she’s okay, she looks out of place in her business suits, etc. Then I just had her buy the wardrobe of a college student. Voilà nineteen 🙂


Again, in Five Words

  • Funny – Kate is a riot, her one-liners kill me.
  • Sweet – Carter is probably the sweetest hero I’ve ever written, aside from what he’s done in his past.
  • Sexy – Kate and Carter navigating their forbidden feelings for each other is one hot ride.
  • Redemptive – Carter and Kate both realize that forgiveness really begins with them.
  • Second-chance – Who doesn’t wish they could go back and change something they’ve said or done. Both Kate and Carter get to see if this wish is really worth wishing for.

Giveaway

About Lisa Burstein

Lisa Burstein is the author of the Young Adult Novels: Pretty Amy and Dear Cassie, and the New Adult Novels & Novellas: Sneaking Candy, The Next Forever & The Possibility of Us. She is also a contributor to the essay collection, Break These Rules: 35 Young Adult Authors On Speaking Up, Standing Out, and Being Yourself. She lives in Portland, Oregon with her very patient husband, a neurotic dog and two cats. Again is her self-publishing debut.

Again – Lisa Burstein

We are so excited to share the cover for Again, by Lisa Burstein! We also have an excerpt from chapter one. Be sure to let us know what you think! 

  • Title: AGAIN
  • Author: Lisa Burstein
  • Age Group: NA/Adult
  • Genre: Contemporary Romance
  • Release Date: September 22, 2014

Summary from GoodReads

How far would you go for a second chance?

Eleven years after flunking out of college, Kate has finally hit rock-bottom. Losing her job and boyfriend in one drunken night, she’s determined to fix her life by going back to the moment when she let partying and sex take over and do things right. At twenty-nine, she heads back to freshman year of college, with a catch.

Pretending she’s nineteen with a new roommate and full class schedule is easy. When she meets her shy, sexy and seven-years-younger RA Carter, following her self-imposed sobriety and celibacy rules is proving to be anything but.

A senior enduring years of regret, Carter is more than ready to graduate. He’s anxious to move on from the party his freshman year where he witnessed his frat brothers about to commit a sexual assault. Instead of doing the right thing and stepping in, he looked the other way and left. His guilt has made for a lonely four years.

When he meets the new freshman on his floor, spunky and confident Kate, he wonders if his time as an outcast has finally come to an end.

Kate and Carter’s growing friendship and undeniable attraction make it harder to hide the demons from their respective pasts. But when their secrets are finally revealed, will their chance at starting over together still be there?

Excerpt

Chapter One

Kate

College-take-two started with me hiding in the dorm lobby men’s bathroom. Unfortunately, I didn’t notice the urinals until after I ran inside.

I stood with my back tight against the wall gasping air like it was Riesling and I was at an all you can drink happy hour.

How the hell did I think I’d ever pull this off? Pretend to be a nineteen-year-old freshman at twenty-nine-years old?

Going back to college might not have been one of my best ideas—but it was the only one that might finally change my life. I wanted to change my life. I needed to. It was just hard to convince myself of that once I was actually on campus with tons of real freshman all around me.

I guess it’s a lot easier to fantasize about living your life over again than to actually go through with it.

“Are you lost?”

I turned and found a built, blonde-haired hottie washing his hands. He dried them quickly, crossed his arms over his broad chest and leaned against the sink.

That was the moment I realized I was in the men’s bathroom. The moment my breathing went from gulping Riesling at an all you can drink happy hour to puking it up into the disgusting toilet at the back of the bar when drinks went back to full price.

My knees went wobbly. My mouth was dry; my head seemingly floating on top of my neck. I couldn’t tell if I was suddenly unbalanced because of how handsome he was, or the realization I clearly was lost.

Minus a penis lost.

“Shit,” I reached for the door handle with sweaty palms. At least I was making the kind of a stupid mistake a real freshman would.

My wide, wild eyes probably made me look as confused by my surroundings as any other student arriving, but honestly I was terrified and not because I’d almost caught this guy with his pants down, because this whole idea was insane.

“It’s okay,” he said, walking toward me, waving his large hands to calm me. “This is definitely not the worst thing I’ve seen someone do the first day back.” He smiled showing teeth that reminded me of toothpaste commercials. It brought out the sweetest dimple the size of an M&M on his chin.

Fuck me. I smiled back.

He paused; eyeing me up and down, perhaps noticing the tight body I was showing off in a desperate attempt to appear nineteen.

“What makes you an expert?” I asked hoping to change his focus, Maybe he wasn’t regarding me for the reason I thought; tight body or no, I was not nineteen. I was twenty-nine. Why the hell would anyone believe any different?

He pointed to his red polo shirt.

Turns out he was doing his job.

The area above his right pectoral muscle read Resident Advisor, Hudson University. There was something I couldn’t identify in his sea-glass blue eyes; almost like he was holding back, putting up a good front.

I knew his look well. It was one I’d mastered. When it got too hard to wear my own everything-is-fine-mask I doused it in alcohol and sex and bad choices, but that wasn’t a solution anymore.

And clearly, everything wasn’t fine.

“I need to get out of here,” I grasped for the door latch again, trying to put out the fire blazing in my neck and face.

He reached from behind me and also went for the door. His hand brushed against mine blistering enough to brand my skin.

My pulse popped like the last minute of popcorn in a microwave. I needed to get away from him. I would have usually chastised myself for even glancing in his direction. Not that I had much choice considering I’d been the one who put us in such close and uncomfortable quarters.

Twenty-nine-year-olds didn’t spontaneously combust from a college kid’s accidental touch. But damn, this guy was fine. My RA back in college-take-one was nothing like this. If he had been I might have made it past the first semester.

I might have passed my actual college-take-one classes.

Of course, I also might have spent it studying what was under his khakis.

“Let me help you,” he said, pushing on the latch as I continued to pull. His voice was a deep vibrato, as deep as his blue eyes seemed.

“I can open a door,” I said, pulling as hard as I could. Nothing happened.

Apparently I couldn’t.

He lifted his arms I-surrender-style and stood back stifling a laugh. “It’s a push.”

“I knew that,” I looked down as I finally pushed the door open and we exited the bathroom. Not because I was embarrassed, though who was I kidding?

I kept my eyes away from his. I didn’t want to show him my face. Have him laugh and say, what the hell are you doing here old lady? Or even worse, are you here helping your daughter or son move in?

It was one thing to be told you had a baby-face your entire life. It was another to put it to the test next to actual babies!

That was why I’d run into the bathroom. Too bad my early-onset cataracts had obscured the mammoth M and stick figure dude.

We stood in front of the door, the dorm lobby brimming with students and their parents. I should have just walked away, but I liked the way he was checking me out, his gaze sliding from my just purchased Uggs to my just purchased white winter hat with cat-ears smashed over my recently highlighted blonde hair. I had been doing my best to look student-like.

But I was pretty sure I looked like Hannah Montana.

It had been easy to Photoshop my high school transcript so it seemed like I graduated a year ago. Simple to change my one semester of F’s to A’s, to take the SATs again, to get a fake ID, to dress like any other nineteen-year-old. It took an hour to sublet my rent-controlled New York City apartment.

Being here and acting like a college freshman would clearly be a lot harder.

 Be sure to add Again on GoodReads!

About Lisa Burstein

Author PhotoLisa Burstein is the author of the Young Adult Novels: Pretty Amy and Dear Cassie, and the New Adult Novels & Novellas: Sneaking Candy, The Next Forever & The Possibility of Us. She is also a contributor to the essay collection, Break These Rules: 35 Young Adult Authors On Speaking Up, Standing Out, and Being Yourself. She lives in Portland, Oregon with her very patient husband, a neurotic dog and two cats. Again is her self-publishing debut.

Website | Twitter | Facebook | GoodReads

Sneaking Candy – Lisa Burstein

Sneaking Candy is not the fluffy confectionery that one would assume given the cover, unlike most New Adult fiction, it is not a maudlin self-indulgent tale of post-teen angst with the amount of tragedy comparable to a Korean soap opera. What it is, is a love letter to readers, all readers well maybe not the literary book snobs out there but to the average everyday Joe who loves a little escapism, or a touch of irreverence in their reading fare.

All I ever wanted was to make a name for myself as Candice Salinas, creative writing grad student at the University of Miami. Of course, secretly I already have made a name for myself: as Candy Sloane, self-published erotic romance writer. Though thrilled that my books are selling and I have actual fans, if anyone at UM found out, I could lose my scholarship…and the respect of my faculty advisor, grade-A-asshole Professor Dylan.

Candice is the slightly repressed daughter of two surgeons and after years of toeing the party line she rebels by eschewing medical school and following in her parents and boyfriend’s footsteps to move to Florida and pursue her dream of being a writer. Her parents respond by disowning her and her boyfriend dumps her unceremoniously telling her that she was a lousy lay and that he cheated on her as well. Forced to find her own way Candice uses her only resource and self-publishes an erotic romance novel under the pseudonym Candy Sloane.

Enter James Walker, super-hot local barista and—surprise!—my student. Even though I know a relationship is totally off-limits, I can’t stop myself from sneaking around with James, taking a few cues from my own erotic writing…if you catch my drift. Candy’s showing her stripes for the first time in my real life, and I’ve never had so much fun. But when the sugar high fades, can my secrets stay under wraps?

Much like all of us Candy is the alter ego who says and does the things that we think of ten minutes after the opportunity has passed. Caught between a rock and a hard place Candice is torn not only between two men but also between following her heart and her head career-wise.

“You’re this serious writer,” I said “I figured you’d view it as fluff, me as fluff. I mean, anyone in the program would.”

Sneaking Candy revitalized my faith in the New Adult genre introducing us to a heroine who is not a victim, perhaps a little repressed, but with the confidence to do and READ or write what our own inner-Candy dictates.