Tales of Fred the Vampire Accountant – Drew Hayes


The Utterly Uninteresting & Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant by Drew Hayes

Release Date: 08/29/14

REUTS Publications

SYNOPSIS – Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one. Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort.

One fateful night – different from the night he died, which was more inconvenient than fateful – Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos that is the parahuman world, a world with chipper zombies, truck driver wereponies, maniacal necromancers, ancient dragons, and now one undead accountant trying his best to “survive.” Because even after it’s over, life can still be a downright bloody mess.

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Accountant is not on the short list of occupations typically found in vampire stories. The Utterly Uninteresting & Unadventurous Tales of Fred the Vampire Accountant was utterly unique and enchanting. Drew Hayes’ has created a vampire hero unlike any other in Frederick Fletcher.

Clearly life is not always like it is in the movies, or at least it isn’t for Frederick Frankford Fletcher. Joining the ranks of the undead changes his life very little at least at first. Instead of venturing out during the day he has his work brought in by courier and his fridge is stocked with blood. The turning point is when he goes to his ten year high school reunion. It is there that he reunites with Krystal and through her finds his way into a paranormal world of which he was completely unaware.

The Utterly Uninteresting & Unadventurous Tales of Fred the Vampire Accountant is a misnomer. His adventures are neither uninteresting or unadventurous, granted Fred is not a vampire given to spontaneous action but the stories of his immersion into the paranormal world are just plain cute. The tongue in cheek style of writing and the initial circumstances of his meeting with Krystal was reminiscent of Grosse Point Blank, John Cusak’s best film in my opinion.

Drew Hayes work was a welcome respite from the angsty type paranormals with vampires who take themselves oh so seriously and has created an appealing unlikely anti-hero in Fred. I would definitely read more by him in the future.


Drew Hayes Author PhotoDrew Hayes is an aspiring author from Texas who has written several books and found the gumption to publish a few (so far). He graduated from Texas Tech with a B.A. in English, because evidently he’s not familiar with what the term “employable” means. Drew has been called one of the most profound, prolific, and talented authors of his generation, but a table full of drunks will say almost anything when offered a round of free shots. Drew feels kind of like a D-bag writing about himself in the third person like this. He does appreciate that you’re still reading, though.

Drew would like to sit down and have a beer with you. Or a cocktail. He’s not here to judge your preferences. Drew is terrible at being serious, and has no real idea what a snippet biography is meant to convey anyway. Drew thinks you are awesome just the way you are. That part, he meant. Drew is off to go high-five random people, because who doesn’t love a good high-five? No one, that’s who.



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