GUEST POST – Auralee Wallace
Scheduled Post: Guest Blog – The Five Stages of Goodreads Grief
By Auralee Wallace, author of Sidekick
My debut novel, SIDEKICK
, was released June 1st of this year. Coming up to the date, I thought I was prepared for all that is Goodreads
. Much like when I boasted about my ability to handle natural childbirth because I was “pretty good with pain,” I naively reasoned that I could manage bad reviews because, logically speaking, not everyone was going to love my book – different tastes and what not
, yadda yadda. Then it happened, and again, much like my experience with natural childbirth, the day I received my first one star review was filled with agony, despair, and may or may not have involved lots of screaming.
Now that a month or two has passed, I feel like I am able to reflect on my thought processes at the time with some clarity and share them with other authors. Not to prepare them. Nothing can do that. But for them to have something to look back on when their first one star rears its ugly head. Then maybe they’ll remember they’re not alone.
So here’s how it happened…blow by ugly blow.
(On a side note, this is my first time using .gifs. I’ve been a holdout partially because, as a writer, I feel I should be able to express myself more than adequately with words…but then it occurred to me that perhaps I was being a bit of a snot because I was intimidated by all this newfangled technology. So I’ve decided to give them a try. I hope you enjoy them…but if you don’t, please don’t feel obligated to tell me so on Goodreads.)
One star? ONE STAR?
Maybe Goodreads got it wrong. Sometimes the numbers don’t match up. I’ve read that happens. Or…or maybe that reviewer hit the wrong star. It’s an honest mistake. It happens. I’m sure he or she (or other of your choosing – I know that’s a Goodreads hot button) will fix that just as soon as he or she realizes the horrible, HORRIBLE mistake that has been made. After all, there are at least six other people on here that LOVE my book. I mean, really LOVE it…and only one of them is related to me. Surely, this is all just a silly mistake.
Wait…wait…wait. It’s still there…and now there is a review! And they said WHAT?????
I was being SATIRICAL! Ever heard of satire Oh-my-opinion-is-better-than-everyone-else’s-stupid-face? Son of a b…!!!! The character didn’t even say that! Why I oughta…!!!!
Maybe if I just explain to the reviewer why he or she is so very, very wrong, he or she will change his or her mind? (You can nail me for the discriminatory pronoun use. I got nothing) We’re all reasonable people here. There’s no reason why we can’t work this out. In fact, have I told you ColdheartedCat67 how much I love your name? I’m thinking of using it in my next book. Maybe we can work something out…
That’s right. When I’m through with you, Reviewer, you’ll be putty in my hands.
(Disclaimer: I’m joking here. I’ve read the warnings. I would never, NEVER – no matter how tempted – contact a reviewer. I realize that’s about as wise as sticking my hand in a blender.)
Nobody…nobody likes my superhero chick lit. (Well, statistically, according to Goodreads, most readers do, but not this one star reviewer. Nooo. I will never write again. In fact, I shall now retreat under my bed where my children can visit me after school (That’s right, Reviewer. You’re picking on somebody’s mom! I hope you’re proud of yourself.) because I’m hated…HATED! by all readers, everywhere.
Not all readers are going to like my book, and that’s okay. Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion…even if it’s stupid. (Whoops, I may have slipped back into some kind of passive-aggressive anger-type thing there. That happens with stages. They’re fluid.) It’s cool. Goodreads is a site for readers to express honest opinions…everybody says so. Besides, bad reviews add legitimacy. That’s right. It’s all part of the bigger picture. So you do your thing, Reviewer, and I’ll do mine, and maybe we can both have our HEA, or at least HFN…but so help me, if you give me one more review like that…whoops, there I go again back to anger. As I said, the stages, they’re fluid.
We’re all good.
Auralee Wallace is an author of humorous commercial women’s fiction and occasional guest blogger at Penny Dreadful Books and Reviews https://pennydreadfulbooks.me/. She is a member of the RWA, and her debut novel, Sidekick, a superhero urban fantasy, placed as a finalist in the Virginia Fool for Love Contest, The TARA Contest and The Catherine. Sidekick has been picked up by Harlequin’s Escape Publishing and is due for release June 1st, 2014. Auralee has an undergraduate degree in psychology, a Master’s degree in English literature and has worked in the publishing industry for a number of years before teaching at the college level.
Auralee has always been fascinated by the power of stereotypes in terms of race, gender, and disability and how those beliefs colour our understanding of the world and of each other.
When this semi-natural blonde mother of three children and three rescue cats isn’t writing or playing soccer, she can be found watching soap operas with lurid fascination and warring with a family of peregrine falcons for the rights to her backyard. She can also be found on Twitter, Goodreads, Facebook, and her blog http://auraleewallace.com/.